5 In Lifestyle

Ten Things to Never Say to a Mother with a Chronic Illness

things to never say

Are you a mother with a chronic illness? If yes, then you understand that our body struggles with physical limitations that ebb and flow. If you are struggling with symptoms of a chronic illness, then you are inevitably going to have good days mixed in with bad days. Unfortunately, that is the nature of a chronic illness.

Over the years, I’ve come to the realization that there are MANY things you should never say to someone struggling with a chronic illness, in particular to a sleep deprived, physically exhausted, mentally despaired, frazzled new mother, who is also suffering from the compounding effects of a chronic illness…

Here are a few suggestions for what NOT to say to a mother with a chronic illness:

  1. “I am just as tired as you are.”
  2. “You don’t look sick!”
  3. “You MUST be feeling better because I see you are running around with the kids.”
  4. “Have you tried holistic treatment?”
  5. “Have you tried going gluten free? Dairy free? What about trying vitamins?”
  6. “Why can’t you bring the kids over to see me/us?”
  7. This coincides with 6. “Why can’t you do ‘x’ activity with us today – since you did ‘y’ activity with them yesterday!?”
  8. “I hope you get well soon.”
  9. “You look great!”
  10. “Thank goodness it’s not cancer.”

Have you ever been frustrated with something someone said to you about your health and well-being, in relation to your chronic illness? In a perfect world, wouldn’t it be nice if everyone knew the right thing to say to everyone, all the time? What are some things that you would rather hear?

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  • Lindsey Wilson

    Nice Kimmy! I’m doing a mental check in my head- I don’t THINK I’ve said these things but chances are, I probably did. Sorry about that:) haha love ya

    • http://www.mommyisntfeelingwell.com MommyIsntFeelingWell

      Thank you Lindsey! And no worries if you have said any of these…many times people don’t realize how frustrating it is to be judged when you look normal on the outside. So, just as I am trying to educate and make people aware of some of the stigmas people with chronic illness face day-to-day, I am also trying not to take things people say too personally anymore! Love you too!

  • Jocelyn Chappell

    Great post! My *favorite* comment is when people tell me that they wish they could sleep as much as I do. I’m working on letting those comments roll off me. I imagine I’m wearing a rain slicker and let the hurtful comments glide down my back and puddle at my feet.

    • http://www.mommyisntfeelingwell.com MommyIsntFeelingWell

      Thank you SO much for your comment Jocelyn! And, I love YOUR favorite comment! Gosh, do people not understand how their words can be received? Your analogy to let their words trickle off of you is FANTASTIC! I think I will use it next time I am flustered….I mean, when people say they are” just as tired as we are”…I’d LOVE to switch bodies for just ONE day! ;0) And since that can’t happen, I’ll use your suggestion instead! Any suggestions on what you would RATHER hear? I am thinking I would love to hear more supportive and loving responses!

  • Jocelyn Chappell

    Great post! My *favorite* comment is when people tell me that they wish they could sleep as much as I do. I’m working on letting those comments roll off me. I imagine I’m wearing a rain slicker and let the hurtful comments glide down my back and puddle at my feet.